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Friday, November 16, 2012


Charlie Sheen vs. Washington D.C.

Was the actor's show at DAR a bi-winning night or a violent torpedo of FAIL?

Photo Credit:Alfredo Flores, Special to Metromix

Jeffrey Ross winning, Charlie Sheen losing...big time. The combination of these two men was not epic, but also not a flailing disaster as Sheen’s tour has been in other cities, mainly due to Ross salvaging the show by insulting the actor repeatedly as only the comic/roastmaster could do. Sheen was 67-minutes late to his own performance, understandable as he had to return to Los Angeles for a custody hearing over his children just hours earlier. “I hope you had a better f***ing day than I did. I think my tardiness gave you a chance to drink more,” said Sheen, the only one-liner that got a tremendous response by the belligerent and drunken crowd of young professionals. Despite the late start, Sheen was greeted to a raucous standing ovation as he entered from the back of the near-capacity 3,700 at DAR Constitution Hall, high-fiving fans along the way and sporting a Washington Nationals Ricky Vaughn jersey (from his role in the “Major League” movies). But it was all downhill from there. WBIG (100.3 FM) host Tommy Griffiths played the role of enabler, lauding Sheen for his recent outburst, basically kissing butt for all to see, and at one point asking him what makes a Warlock. “Magic. I sold this place out in 10 minutes and you didn’t even know what the show was about. How about that for f***ing magic!” (Note: Tickets for floor seats were still on sale as late as last week.) Regarding his mixed reviews about the tour, all Sheen had to say was, “In some cities this thing was a witch hunt. I never claimed this thing was anything. I was asked if I wanted to go on tour, sure I’ll go on f***ing tour, whatever that means. I’ve done 12 cities, and I’m 10 and two. That would lead the league in my opinion.” Then the rants started, from blistering attacks on his ex-wives and studio execs of “Two and a Half Men” to boasts about a pseudo “presidential” run with Nick Cage as his running mate. “At least I was f***ing born here. I didn’t Photoshop my birth certificate,” Sheen said, a dig at President Obama’s alleged fake birth certificate. Shortly after, he was showered with heckles, which were heard loud and clear. “Say something funny!” “Shut the f*** up and say something weird!” “Entertain us!” “F*** you Tommy!” (Even host Tommy Griffiths was heckled ruthlessly.) Then, mercifully, a six-minute intermission came. Sheen left the stage and so did a good percentage of the audience. After the break, Jeffrey Ross came to the rescue by starting off the roast of Sheen, which the "winning" actor took in stride: “Just when I thought DC couldn’t get any slimier, you come along. Consider this a comedy intervention,” Ross started out with. “How do you roast a f***ing meltdown? You say you’re a warlock from Mars. I’ll tell you what you’re not—a comedian from Earth.“ “I’m used to roasting classier people, like Flava Flav and Courtney Love.” “You’re the black sheep of the family that was responsible for three "Mighty Duck" movies.” “You should go visit the White House, which also happens to be the name of your nostrils. “ “Your nostrils are so full of coke, they call them the Hilton sisters.” Then a dozen selected audience members were given the chance to ask Sheen anything. All questions were bizarre, which ranged from how many black women he’s slept with, where to find good cocaine in the city, to the size of his penis. “Keeping with the theme, it’s the (size of the) f*cking Washington Monument.” In a strange night, where the only "celebrities" on hand were ESPN’s Tony Kornheiser and White House party crashers Tariq and Michaele Salahi, weird questions were apropos. The 90-minute show ended when he was asked if he wanted to return to “Two and a Half Men.” “Of course I want my job back. I told the show, you guys were lucky to have me here. Shame on you. F*** off. It’s the same thing I say about my ex-wives. But thank you Washington. I’m lucky to be here. Shame on me for not coming here sooner, now I’m going to f*** off.”

Wednesday, November 07, 2012


Latin Rhythm, World Message: Juanes, 'P.A.R.C.E.'

Written by Washington Post Express contributor Alfredo Flores

Juanes just might be the friendliest 17-time Latin Grammy winner you'll ever meet. The affable Colombian rocker often greets people with hugs and still personally responds to messages from among his 2 million Twitter followers. Even the title of his new album, "P.A.R.C.E.," welcomes you in — "parce" is a Colombian street slang term for "buddy." "I wanted to demonstrate a pure, positive energy," explains Juanes, who's midway through a 16-city U.S. tour. "This album is all about the hope that there could be a peace among all people." Juanes has long used his music as a platform to give voice to the stories of the marginalized and forgotten. He first came on the scene a decade ago with "Fíjate Bien," a song about the land mines — left from years of civil unrest — that have maimed and killed thousands of Colombians. Two years later, Juanes became a global superstar with "A Dios Le Pido," a plea for world peace.

'P.A.R.C.E.' courtesy Universal Music Latino All told, Juanes has sold more than 15 million records and introduced mainstream Latin music to the indigenous Colombian rhythms of vallenato and cumbia — popular styles of folk music originating in the nation's northern Caribbean region. Vallenato and cumbia have recently seen a resurgence in popularity within Latin music, turning up in dance floor mixes and even drawing their own category at the Latin Grammy Awards. Juanes mixes the styles into his signature powerful guitar-heavy ballads, and says that the blending of sounds and traditions allows him to express ideas across language barriers and genres. "Music has always been a way of expressing all my emotions," he says. "Whether they be happy, sad, frustrating, being scared. I think of music as a way for people to connect with each other, and it's been a blessing to have been able to do this." "I hope I can help cure through my music," he says. » Patriot Center, 4400 University Drive, Fairfax; Sun., 7 p.m., $39-$125; 703-993-3000.

Saturday, November 03, 2012


Pics: Jay-Z & Kanye at the Verizon Center

Photo Photography

It was a bill that already contained two towering giants in the hip-hop game, and if that weren’t enough, their swagtastic performance together at the Verizon Center proved why Jay-Z and Kanye are the hottest pair in the genre. Jay-Z entered one end of the floor in a rising tower in a black T-shirt and black pants, Kanye West in a matching shirt and a ridiculous black knee-length tunic -- as if only to draw even more attention to himself at tower No. 2. But despite their differences in appearances, style, and bravado, the mega-hit-making duo were dynamic in concert together at the sold-out show. Once joined together at center stage with a giant American flag as a backdrop, the Jay and Ye got into the set list of their first full-album together, “Watch the Throne,” with a powerful rendition of “Otis.” Later on in the evening, they went on to sing hit songs from each other’s storied careers in an unforgettable two-hour set.